Effective Communication is Key to Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

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    Effective Communication is Key to Successful Co-Parenting After Divorce

    According to research on divorced parents, their relationship directly affects their children’s mental and emotional health. Generally, when you think of a perfect environment for raising kids, what comes in your mind is a loving, two-parent home. However, parents disagree in the real world and sometimes get divorced. No matter what happens, they must continue with the important work of raising their children.

    The root cause of conflict is always miscommunication. Heightened disagreements in the family unit can result in divorce. Separations may result in feelings of anger, frustration, and even those of betrayal – and you have every right to have such emotions. After all, you are only a mere mortal.

    However, it would be best if you still kept in touch where children are involved.  While divorce may end a marriage, it certainly does not bring an end parental responsibility. So, how do you maintain effective communication for the success of your co-parenting efforts? Below are some suggestions.

    Tame Your Anger

    For the sake of successful co-parenting experience, let your anger take a back seat. It’s not easy, but at least try for the sake of your kids.

    Rarely people who are angry with tempers flaring can hardly communicate. Divorce is painful; it’s like someone decided to rip the heart out of your chest and left it for dead on the floor. However, remember the damage has already occurred, and you need to work together for the sake of the children.

    Respond Respectfully

    Whenever you get a communication from your ex, try and respond professionally and respectfully. Avoid being sarcastic or attacking specific instances that you disagree with in their conduct.

    Avoid name-calling and, importantly, do not digress by always ensuring that the conversation child-focused – don’t reopen old would.

    Communicate in Writing

    The conventional wisdom is that when a man speaks, he/she speaks from the heart, but when they write, they do so from their mind.

    Remember, the heart has been hurt – it may say some bad stuff due to heartache. However, when you communicate in writing, every word you put done can be carefully considered and adjusted to ensure you express yourself clearly and respectfully.

    Also, written communication can always be recalled in case of a dispute. If you must respond to some issues, you should address some issues, consult with a Clear Lake divorce attorney to ensure that you sent the right responses to avoid instances of miscommunication.

    Always Listen and Be Willing to Compromise

    When you listen with agitation to respond rather than understand, you end up disagreeing even before your ex finishes explaining their proposition. So, always ensure you are keenly and genuinely listening.

    If you disagree, clearly state out why calmly and respectfully. Nevertheless, work toward a mutually agreeable resolution. There is always a solution that both of you will be happy with if you both learn to compromise.

    Don’t make your children suffer because adults in the room couldn’t agree on come to a compromise.

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    Written by Jenson Phillips

    Hi, I'm Jenson. Father of two and living with OCD, read my musings on coping with both and maybe pick up some advice for yourself.