Relationships are never easy, and often we find ourselves walking away from a discussion with our partners feeling frustrated or ignored.  Communication is something which is the backbone of making a relationship work. Without being able to effectively communicate how we feel to the other, there’s no hope of keeping a connection.  It’s no wonder why so many couples file for divorce within the first year.  

It’s essential for the good of your relationship that you master the interactive process of communicating.  As a result, you’ll both get what you both need. Remember, it’s a process, and there is a learning curve. However, with enough perseverance, you can master your dialogue together and create a lasting bond.

Ready to master effective communication together?  Here are the best steps to get you started.

Take Responsibility

It’s easy to pass the blame onto the other person and assume it’s their fault.  However, ultimately, you can’t control others, but you can control how you react.  Therefore, regardless of anyone else’s behavior, it’s you that has the choice to respond or not.

When conversations start getting heated, rather than reciprocating anger, try to reciprocate compassion.  If you can’t seem to find a way to communicate with positive intent, then you’re not really communicating, but arguing.

Be An Active Listener

One of the most frustrating things that a person can experience when they’re attempting to communicate is being cut off.  In order to have equal grounds to convey how you feel, you both need to listen. Wait for your turn to speak and have empathy.  

The key to building a lasting relationship full of trust is giving the other person’s words value.

Display concern by offering to help.  Ask questions and request further details.  Allow your conversation to flow and flourish.

Be Honest

Many people would rather hold their feelings in rather than create waves.  As a result, they wind up holding grudges which create a distance.

Rather than harboring resentment, be open and honest.  You can still establish boundaries while being respectful.

Be Aware of How Your Feelings Can Play a Role

The way you feel will often determine the way that you communicate.  It’s ideal to be in touch with your feelings so that you know what to look out for.

If you’re feeling particularly tired, be aware that you might be more cutting.  If a certain topic makes you feel uneasy, it’s probably not a good time to talk about it if you’re stressed about work.  Observe your emotions and be open about them.

It’s ok to say “I don’t feel comfortable addressing this right now. I’m not in the right frame of mind.”